Friday, September 24, 2010

Adventures of a Big Brother

Dear Ben,

Congratulations, Boo Bear - you are officially a BIG brother!  The 40 (37) week countdown is over, and now a new adventure starts: brotherhood.  You have been such a trooper all year long, putting up with a sick Mommy, a cranky Mommy, and a very big version of Mommy throughout the months.  You've never protested when Cheerios were presented as breakfast 13 days in a row, or dinner consisted of cheese and crackers because Mommy couldn't pull it together enough to prepare something appropriate.  You've played quietly and independently when Mommy was too big to get on the floor with you, and slept in most mornings as if you knew you were giving a precious gift.  I am so thankful for these things, baby - thank you for being patient with me.

Throughout the months, you've come to understand what was happening.  At first, though understandably, you had no idea what was happening.  We told you about your little brother before my belly told the world.  As your brother grew, you became curious.  We named Beckett around the time that my pants changed to the kind with elastic waistbands, so you've been familiar with his name for awhile.  We referred to the belly as "baby" and "brother" and it seemed that sometime in the 8th month, the idea clicked for you.  You hugged my belly every morning, and kissed it goodnight before bed.  When I asked you "Where's Beckett?", you'd lift your shirt and pat your own belly first before patting mine gently and sweetly.  You loved him before you even met him.

Our last day together as a twosome - me and you - was uneventful but wonderful.  I wasn't feeling particularly hot, so I layed in bed most of the day.  Neither of us knew it would be our last day, just me and you, but we spent it cuddling in bed and taking it easy.  You took a 4 hour nap that day.  In fact, I had to wake you up to get you ready for Grandpa before I headed to the hospital.  Once I learned that Beckett would be coming, you came to visit me in the hospital.  You saw me laying in my hospital bed, hooked up to monitors and getting prepped for surgery and smirked at me, almost knowingly.  You even laughed a few times when you approached my bed.  I swear you knew what was happening. 

You've been such a good big brother since you and Beckett officially met on Saturday.  You came into the hospital room with your Aunt Madi and locked eyes on him, and then proceeded to ignore him for the rest of the visit.  We considered this a success, because you pretty much acted like nothing was different.  The next day, you even crawled up next to him and gave him a hug.  You've been really good since we've all been home together, and while it's obvious you know that something is permanently different, you've transitioned really, really well.  We're so proud of you.

You don't know it yet, but your brother is the most awesome gift we could have ever given you.  You and he are 22 months apart.  You're going to share your room, your toys and your friends with him, and both of you will have a best friend for life.  It doesn't seem like it right now, I know, but these are all good things. 

Thank you so much for being so BIG.  You are going to be the best big brother ever.  My heart has grown big enough to fit both of you in it neatly, but always know that you are extra special because you are my first born. And ultimately the reason that the event of welcoming your little brother into the world has been so easy.  I love you, Boo.

Love, Mama

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