It is Fall

So I broke another blog-promise.  I think I'm back though, for real.  It's warmer inside and even the kids agree that playing toys indoors beats the cool fall wind in their face and having to wear long sleeves.  They HATE long sleeves.  Both of them.  They both pull on the bottom of the sleeve until their arm is free and get frustrated with the fact that their shirt is only half on, so the whole thing comes off.  I've discovered them shirtless after their "nap" several times this month.  And yeah, "nap" time is quickly becoming a memory... two boys in the same room when they should be resting?  Fail.  I'm listening to them right now.  Constant chatter and the occasional BOOM as a random toy hits the floor or wall.  If crying doesn't follow, I know it wasn't someone's head.
My favorite season is here.  And I haven't taken many pictures.  No good ones anyway.  Our annual trip to the apple orchard has been suspended because the last time we went, we came home with a puppy instead of a bushel of fruit.  Jacob was not pleased.  I keep telling him it is not my fault because I'm genetically predisposed to pick up any stray looking animal I come across.  It's a compulsion - saving one animal at a time.  He's ready to call the show Hoarders.  I am a solid contender. 

The newest Turner:

 Her name is Apple because she was discovered among the apples.  Creative, huh?  These pics were taken a week or two after she found us.  She is much bigger than this now.

Project Manager:

The boys are fantastic.  They had a ridiculously busy summer, traveling to the coast and back twice, up and down the mountain who knows how many times, and a couple trips to Atlanta and back.  Ben had an intense therapy regimen for a couple months, doing speech twice a week and occupational therapy once a week.  He made tremendous progress so we are rewarding him with a little break.  He is speaking in sentences now, and using words to communicate EVERYTHING he wants, needs and notices.  He is also Mr. Independent.  Ben initiates games, wants to get in his car seat by himself, and chooses what he will wear the next day.  He also believes he can be left alone on grocery store aisles, prefers NOT to hold hands when crossing a street and has determined that candy is a suitable breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Yay.  The toddler attitude is officially here.  His newest obsession is automatic doors.  He is amazed at the intuition of these clever doors, knowing the exact moment someone wants to enter a store, and also knowing to close behind them.  I basically have to drag him away from this fabulous invention EVERYWHERE we go.  And then run back and retrieve him when he gravitates back toward them.  I officially hate all Targets, Wal-Marts and every grocery store ever.  My former favorites, because the other thing these places have in common is shopping carts.  The perfect way to tote around two wiggly children.  Unless one of them is the boss of you and can do. it. himself.  Ben is almost three.  He will tell you this, but he will hold up two fingers.  Or four, depending.  He started school in September and doesn't turn around to say goodbye when I drop him off.  He's got a group of friends he sits with at a table in the back and wants to "go to school, have fun" every morning when he wakes up.  I am happy that he is happy.

First day of school:

 Making healthy choices with Jack at Publix:

Doing what he does best: following Jack

I promise he has more than one shirt:

Beckett is officially 12 months old.  Or one year old if you want to be a jerk about it, reminding me that over 365 days have passed since he joined the family.  It's gone by astronomically fast.  I'm pretty sure I was just carrying that little bowling ball around, on my cankles, and pulling up my elastic waist-banded pants every few steps.  Beckett is our comedian.  His favorite activity is smiling and laughing.  Anything that makes him do either or both is good with him.  He likes to make everyone around him smile, likes to flirt, mimic, crawl like an Olympian, and eat like Kobayashi.  He is not Irish, but his eyes smile.  He has disproportionately small, chunky Hobbit feet and wears clothes Ben wore last fall.  At the last weigh-in, he was a solid 24 pounds.  He is very close to walking and can take a few steps unassisted.  His favorite show is called Super Why.  If he hears the theme song play, he will emerge from whatever corner he crawled to and sit like a potted plant for exactly 30 minutes.  That's our biggest-little.  The other 50% of B squared.

The Comedian:

Baby's first spaghetti, an Italian milestone:

One year old and already partying hard:

 Making another mess:

I'm happy it's fall.  I like eating apples and smelling cinnamon.  I love pumpkins.  And corn mazes.  And my favorite part is that I am NOT pregnant for once.  Summer is over, the birthday season is upon us, and soon we'll be doing the holiday thing.  Stores already have Christmas trees set up and ready to go.  But... you'll hear from us before then.  For real this time.

terrible blogger

Remember me? 

Hey y'all.  Nope, haven't forgotten about the blog.  I'm just that lazy.  Really, after the first month of missing regular posts, I got overwhelmed with the idea of catching up.  But a sweet little birdie in Tallahassee reminded me to check back in.  So here I am!

Our absence from The Internets is due to much activity over the last few months.  Warmer weather means Team Turner is rarely inside.  Or home for that matter.  I could recap everything we've done for you but that could get majorly boring.  And remember the post about avoiding mega-blogs?  As my mom says, I'll just give you the "Reader's Digest" version.  In pictures.

Someone got his first "I'm not a baby anymore" haircut:

Got lost at the Carolina Cup and threw a tantrum:                                    

 Dressed for success:

Helped Mommy in the yard:

Went to church as a family:

Hung out with our sister from another mister, Avery:

Went to Atlanta to play with Jack:

Watched this and many others bloom:

 Grew and ate these:

 

Fed him:

 

And him:

 

Watched a 4th of July parade with a cousin:

 

Went rootin':

Turned 7:

 

 8:

 and 9 months old:

And lots more.  We just got back from a week-long trip to the mountain compound where lots more pictures were taken and family fun was had.  In fact, we've been home so shortly that my camera still hasn't come in from the car.  Lots of Mimi, Poo-Poo and auntie love was had, four wheelers were driven, and lbs were gained from neverending plates of food.  A typical Turner get-together.  And with just enough time to catch our breath, do some laundry, and pay some bills, we are heading down the mountain for our annual beach trip.  It's like a week in the mountains but with less dogs and more sand.

There has been no shortage of milestones in this house since we checked in last.  Another hero has joined Ben's team to help him with occupational therapy.  We started a few weeks ago and in that short time, he's done all kinds of new activities we never thought we'd see him do.  Ben is now master of the stairs, the playground slide, and the ball pit.  Never thought I'd be so happy to have my kid swim around in dirty plastic balls, germs, possibly urine and who knows what else.  He took his first trip to the mountain amusement park, Tweetsie Railroad, and was brave enough to scream through a few rides.  I like to think of it as immersion therapy.  His OT might think it was a Mommy Dearest move.  Either way, he clapped for himself when he was done being tortured.  His speech is continuing to improve, and Jacob and I are kicking ourselves for not videotaping his sessions from the beginning.  It's amazing to think that this is the same Ben as the kid who only said five words this time last year.  Five prompted words.  The same kid who doesn't stop talking and singing now.  He's also turning into somewhat of a musical savant.  He has near perfect pitch, can keep time, and seems to understand basic music theory.  We recently rescued a beautiful antique player piano from a neighborhood estate sale and have enjoyed watching Ben stand there, hammering out notes while singing the song in his head.  He definitely isn't hitting the correct notes, but he's almost in key and keeps pretty good time.  Piano lessons are in his very near future. 

Beckett is almost ten months old.  Beckett eats solid foods.  Beckett sometimes sleeps through the night.  He has come a long way.  His little personality continues to develop and he continues to prove that he is just like his Mommy.  He is intense and laid back, funny and serious, cuddly and squirmy and so on.  A living paradox.  With big brown eyes and a smile like you've never seen before.  He laughs like Beavis of Beavis & Butthead fame and grins at everything.  He loves his big brother like no one else and seems okay with the fact that he takes all of his toys away.  Ben calls him Dougie.  He can't or won't say Beckett, so he calls him Becky.  But in Ben speech, it sounds like Dougie.  When you ask Ben what his own name is, he tells you it's "Hents."  Not sure how Ben became Hents but it has been suggested that the name of this blog should be changed to "Hents and Dougie."  I bet that domain name is available.

So if you looked at the pictures and scrolled to the bottom, here's the summary:
1.  I'm a crappy blogger.
2.  We've done some fun things this summer
3.  My kids are growing up and I'm proud of every detail

I'll try to do better, y'all.  No more polite excuses.  Fewer three-month time lapses.  Deal?  Deal.

don't tell me what to do

Welcome to the April Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how they advocate for healthy, gentle parenting choices compassionately. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
***

Seriously, don't.

It drives me crazy when other parents make recommendations about how I should raise my children.  And it seems to be a compulsion that lots of parents cannot resist. 

"Oh, he sleeps in YOUR BED?!  You should lock him in his own room and let him cry himself to sleep.  It's for his own good.  Swear." 

"You're STILL breastfeeding?!  You might want to stop that before it gets creepy."

I didn't realize that so many other parents are experts on my children.  I still haven't come up with a snarky response for unsolicited advice, but I'm working on it.  It drives me Bananas.  Yes, with a capital B.  So because of this, I don't return the favor.

I think there is a fine line between advocacy and being annoying.  I believe in my parenting practices but you don't have to.  If you think Ferber is a genius, I'm so happy for you.  Whatever makes your household work.  I'd rather lead by example.  Attachment parenting tends to attract a lot of attention and questions, so even if I was a "know it all Mama," I probably wouldn't have to go out of my way too much.  When people ask me about my babywearing and tell me how much they hate their Baby Bjorn, I'll tell them the benefits of whatever babywearing contraption I'm using.  If someone comments on how ridiculously adorable my baby's diapers are, rest assured I will rave about cloth.  I breastfeed in public and I wish more people would.  I never see it, but I know there are more fellow breastfeeders out there.  Maybe a side effect of nursing in public will encourage more mamas and future mamas to do the same.  Actions speak louder than words anyway. 

Compassionate advocacy isn't suggesting to others what to do.  I don't believe my parenting practices are best, but I do believe it's what works for us.  If you are curious and ask, I'll talk about it as long as you'll let me.  But you can be sure I'll never tell you what to do.


***
Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon April 12 with all the carnival links.)

• Natural Parenting Advocacy by Example — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction uses her blog, Twitter and Facebook as her natural parenting soapbox.
• You Catch More Flies With Honey — When it comes to natural parenting advice, Kate of The Guavalicious Life believes you catch more flies with honey.
• — Patti at Jazzy Mama searches her heart for an appropriate response when she learns that someone she respects wants his baby to cry-it-out.
• I Offer the Truth — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares the hard truths to inspire parents in making changes and fully appreciating the parenting experience.
• Advocating or Just Opinionated? — Momma Jorje discusses how to draw the line between advocating compassionately and being just plain opinionated. It can be quite a fine line.
• Compassionate Advocacy — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting writes about how to discuss topics you are passionate about with people who don't share your views.
• Heiny Helpers: Sharing Cloth Love — Heiny Helpers is guest posting on Natural Parents Network to share how they are providing cloth diapers and cloth diapering support to low income families.
• Struggling with Advocacy — April of McApril still struggles to determine how strongly she should advocate for her causes, but still loves to show her love for her parenting choices to those who would like to listen.
• Compassionate Advocacy Through Blogging (AKA –Why I Blog) — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares how both blogging and day-to-day life give her opportunities to compassionately advocate for natural parenting practices.
• A Letter to *Those* Parents — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares how to write an informed yet respectful reply to those parents — you know, the ones who don't parent the way you do.
• Why I Am Not A Homebirth Advocate — Olivia at Write About Birth is coming out: she is a homebirth mom, but not a homebirth advocate. One size does not fit all – but choice is something we can all advocate for!
• Why I Open My Big Mouth — Wolfmother from Fabulous Mama Chronicles reflects on why she is passionate about sharing parenting resources.
• Watching and Wearing — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life advocates the joys of babywearing simply by living life in a small college town.
• Compassionate Advocacy . . . That's The Way I Do It — Amyables at Toddler in Tow describes how she's learned to forsake judgment and channel her social energy to spread the "good news" of natural parenting through interaction and shared experiences.
• The quiet advocate — Lauren at Hobo Mama cringes when she thinks of the obnoxious way she used to berate people into seeing her point of view.
• I Am the Change — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro describes a recent awakening where she realized exactly how to advocate for natural parenting.
• Public Displays of Compassion — The Accidental Natural Mama recounts an emotional trip to the grocery store and the importance of staying calm and compassionate in the storm of toddler emotions.
• I will not hide behind my persona — Suzi Leigh at Attached at the Boob discusses the benefits of being honest and compassionate on the internet.
• Choosing My Words — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom shares why she started her blog and why she continues to blog despite an increasingly hectic schedule.
• Honour the Child :: Compassionate Advocacy in the Classroom — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree shares her experience of being a gentle and compassionate parent — with other people's children — as a classroom volunteer in her daughter's senior kindergarten room.
• Inspired by the Great Divide (and Hoping to Inspire) — Rosemary at Rosmarinus Officinalis shares her thoughts on navigating the "great divide" through gently teaching and being teachable.
• Introverted Advocacy — CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy shares how she advocates for gentle parenting, even though she is about as introverted as one can be.
• The Three R's of Effective and Gentle Advocacy — Ana at Pandamoly explains how "The Three R's" can yield consistent results and endless inspiration to those in need of some change.
• Passionate and Compassionate: How do We do It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy shares the importance of understanding your motivation for advocacy.
• Sharing the love — Isil at Smiling Like Sunshine talks about how she shares the love and spreads the word.
• What Frank Said — Nada at miniMOMist has a good friend named Frank. She uses his famous saying to demonstrate how much natural parenting has benefited her and her family.
• Baby Sling Carriers Make Great Compassionate Advocacy Tools — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey shared her babywearing knowledge — and her sling — with a new mom.
• Everyday Superheroes — Who needs Superman when we have a community of compassionate advocates?! Dionna at Code Name: Mama believes that our community of gentle bloggers are the true superheroes.
• Words of advice: compassionately advocating for my parenting choices — MrsH at Fleeting Moments waits to give advice until she's been asked, resulting in fewer advocacy moments but very high responsiveness from parents all over the spectrum of parenting approaches.
• Peaceful Parenting — Peaceful parenting shows at Living Peacefully with Children with an atypical comment from a stranger.
• Speaking for birth — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud soul-searches about how she can advocate for natural birth without causing offense.
• Gentle is as Gentle Does — Laura at A Pug in the Kitchen shares how she is gently advocating her parenting style.
• Walking on Air — Rachael at The Variegated Life wants you to know that she has no idea what she's doing — and it's a gift.
• Parenting with my head, my heart, and my gut — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares her thoughts on being a compassionate advocate of natural parenting as a blogger.
• At Peace With the World — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry talks about being an advocate for peaceful parenting at 10,000 feet.
• Putting a public face on "holistic" — Being public about her convictions is a must for Jessica at Crunchy-Chewy Mama, but it takes some delicacy.
• Just Be; Just Do. — Amy at Anktangle believes strongly about her parenting methods, and also that the way to get people to take notice is to simply live her life and parent the best she knows how.
• One Parent at a Time... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment believes that advocating for Natural Parenting is best accomplished by walking the walk.
• Self-compassion — We're great at caring for and supporting others —from our kiddos to other mamas — but Lisa at Gems of Delight shares a post about treating ourselves with that same sense of compassion.
• Using Montessori Principles to Advocate Natural Parenting — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells how she uses Montessori principles to be a compassionate advocate for natural parenting.
• Advocacy? Me? — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante discovers that by "just doing her thing," she may be advocating for natural parenting.
• Feeding by Example — Mama Mo at Attached at the Nip shares her experience of being the first one of her generation to parent.
• Compassionate Consumerism — Erica at ChildOrganics encourages her children to be compassionate consumers and discusses the benefits of buying local and fair trade products.
• The Importance of Advocating Compassionately — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood acts as a compassionate advocate by sharing information with many in the hopes of reaching a few.
• Some Thoughts on Gentle Discipline — Excellent resources - thank you for giving me a new article from Natural Child Project, I love that site!!
• Compassionate Advocacy: Sharing Resources, Spreading the Love — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle shares how her passion for making natural choices in pregnancy, birth, and parenting have supported others in Dominica and beyond.
• A journey to compassion and connection — Jessica at Instead of Institutions shares her journey from know-it-all to authentic advocacy.
• Advocacy Through Openness, Respect, and Understanding — Melissa at The New Mommy Files describes her view on belief, and how it has shaped the way she advocates for gentle parenting choices.
• Why I'm not an advocate for Natural Parenting — Mrs Green at Little Green Blog delivers the shocking news that, after 10 years of being a mum, she is NOT an advocate for natural parenting!
• Carnival of Natural Parenting: Compassionate Advocacy — Even in the progressive SF Bay Area, Lily at Witch Mom finds she must defend some of her parenting choices.
• A Tale of Four Milky Mamas — In this post The ArtsyMama shares how she has found ways to repay her childhood friend for the gift of milk.
• don't tell me what to do — Pecky at benny and bex demonstrates compassionate advocacy through leading by example.

Hiatus

Sorry, y'all,  I've been a bad blogger.  It's hard to bring myself to sit at the computer and tell stories when it's 75 degrees outside and beautiful.  Team Turner has been spending our days in the sunshine, hanging with friends and family, and just enjoying spring in general. 

In fact, we're about to head back outside.  Ben: Vice President of Yard Operations and Beckett: Project Manager have been helping me prepare the yard for summer.  It's still too risky to plant flowers in the mountains because Mother Nature never fails to deliver us a late freeze, but being the proud owners of a couple oak trees that were around during Lincoln's presidency, we have plenty of straightening up to do.  Oh, and did I mention dogs and lawns don't mix?  We've got some dirt pits in the yard to contend with.

So back outside we go.  In the meantime, we're creating lots of fun stories to share for a rainy day.  With pictures to boot!  Hope everyone else is enjoying spring as much as we are.  In the meantime, the Natural Parenting Carnival posts tomorrow - mine and 60-something other blogs on the topic should keep you busy till then.