Two years and counting...

Two years ago today, I met Ben.  I'm not gonna lie, I was really drugged up.  But the one memory that stands out from that day was the overwhelming feeling of love I had for that beautiful baby boy.  8 pounds and 11 ounces of pure perfection.  In some ways I feel like I blinked and was teleported to his 2nd birthday party, and in other ways, I feel like he's always been here.  He's my little buddy, and I can't believe he's two!

To back up, the last 6 weeks have been lots of fun, and full of transitions.  Ben welcomed his baby brother, Beckett into the family, and has changed his mind on how he feels about him a few times.  I think he's finally settled into the idea of having a baby brother, and has even been sweet with him a time or two.  Though these moments are short lived, I'm happy to witness the beginnings of a hopefully awesome relationship.  Ben has been so sweet and wonderful through the transition.  He continues to amaze me every day with his unbelievable patience and independence.  For being so young, he has done such an awesome job at handling the fact that Mama's attention is suddenly split between two babies.  And sometimes one demands more than the other.  I've been incredibly lucky in that respect.

Ben admires his little brother in a wagon:

Exhausted, but sticking it out:

Minutes later, calm and cool:

Giving hugs to an unsuspecting napper:

We haven't done too much in the last few weeks.  Having a newborn in the house makes travel, even to the grocery store, nearly impossible.  We've done a lot of cartoon watching, playing with toys, and keeping Beckett quiet and happy.  He's benefited from tons of visits from Grammie and Grandpa over the weeks, and has even visited with Auntie M a couple times.  This has been a real treat, and he's always sad to see them go.  He's developed a habit of blocking the door from his visitors leaving if he really disagrees with their departures.  But will always see his guests out and will say goodbye properly with either the traditional "buh-bye" or his newest send-off, "Bahhhh!".  He picked that one up from his more southern family members. We traveled to the mountain house for a weekend in early October to celebrate Aunt Nette's birthday and to share Beckett with family.  Ben enjoyed playing with his Mimi and aunties, and was happy to get back up there after being away for a couple months.  

He also got the surprise of his life and traveled to Charlotte to see Yo Gabba Gabba live and schmooze with the cast members after the show!  He was in such shock, he couldn't even smile through the show.  He just stood there, wide-eyed and with his mouth half open.  Afterward, he sat in a small circle, just a few feet away from DJ Lance Rock as he read them a story, and got to meet all the Gabbas including his favorite, Foofa.  She blew him a kiss and he smiled from ear to ear.  It was awesome!   

The magical moment:

Close to home, he's enjoyed a few trips to the local parks and even went on a hike with Mama and Daddy a couple weekends ago.  He rode in his carrier for the first time in months, and seemed to enjoy hitching a hands-free ride through the forest.  

A hike through Bent Creek Experimental Forest:

We've seen lots of new development from Ben over the last few months.  Physically, he's hit a growth spurt and put on a pound and an inch or two.  He's still wearing most of the clothes he wore this time last year (bonus for us, we get to reuse his winter clothes!), but we've added some bigger sizes with the hope that he'll grow into them before the season is through.  He's also really blossomed socially.  He is definitely more eager to play with others, and has ditched parallel play for more interactive fun.  Levi has been over a time or two, and they've met in various places for playtime which has been so good for Ben.  Not only does he love to see his best friend, but he learns a lot when they are together.  And Levi is so patient and sweet with Ben.  They truly have a special relationship.  Ben's verbal communication is really taking off.  His vocabulary is now more like 20 or 30 words, and he is usually willing to try new words.  Sometimes he'll even try a two-word sequence, which is brand new and really impressive!  And his Mimi worked hard on teaching him gesturing.  This is a developmental milestone that he pretty much skipped a year ago, and is apparently an important one.  So we've really encouraged him to point out things like body parts, pictures in books, etc.  And he does this very willingly now.  We still haven't started with speech therapy, but this should be coming together in the next few weeks.  In the meantime, we're working hard at home, and watching his expressive communication blossom.

So back to his birthday celebrations.  Ben's birthday weekend fell on Halloween again.  So being half thrifty and half lazy, we decided to throw another Halloween-themed birthday party for him.  The night before his party, we all went to downtown Hendersonville for a bit of trick-or-treating and a dance party.   We even coached him on saying "trick or treat", which he rehearsed pretty well, but forgot to say every time he presented his bag for some candy.  Ben dressed up as his hero, DJ Lance Rock.

Ben as DJ Lance and Beckett as a little calf - downtown Hendersonville:

The next afternoon, we had a very small celebration at our house attended by just family and our besties.  It was small but fun, and Ben ended up with lots of cool presents and a nice stash to put away for his college fund.  He partied hard, ate way too much candy and junk food, and squirmed at cake time again.  He did, however, eat a slice of cake with icing.

Ben and a little help from his friends:

Today was his actual birthday.  We hung out around the house and detoxed from the weekend's festivities.  He played with the toys he scored yesterday, watched his new DVDs, and hung out with Grammie and Grandpa for most of the afternoon.  Tonight, we went to Cracker Barrel for dinner and Ben had a big birthday pancake.  He didn't even melt down at the restaurant like he's been known to do. We came home and ate more birthday cake, icing and all, and had a really nice day.  For me, it's been a day of reflection over the last two years.  It didn't hit me when Ben turned 1 that he wasn't a baby anymore.  It's hit me hard tonight.  Maybe because I have a newborn in the house, and can look at him and clearly remember Ben at that age like it was yesterday.  He is such an amazing little guy, and we've had so much fun over the last two years.  Looking forward to many, many more!

Life with a Newborn

Beckett tries to focus - 4 weeks:

Trying to grab the camera:

5 weeks and all's well!  Busy, but well.  It's not been that long since a newborn has been in this house, but bringing home Beckett made us realize how much we'd forgotten about the early weeks.  The sleeplessness, the spit up, the neverending poopy diapers.  The memories we have of our first attempt at parenthood are fuzzy, and laced with nothing but the good parts.  Beckett is full of those too.  I'm enjoying the warm, cuddly baby naps on my chest and the late night nursing sessions where everything is quiet and still but me and my baby boy.  It's been wonderful.  Fuzzy, due to the lack of sleep, but wonderful.  Beckett is a sweet boy and is settling quite well in the Turner household.

In 5 weeks, we've had a few doctor visits and an ER visit to monitor his jaundice and his acid reflux problems.  Beckett is a yellow vomit machine.  Yellow initially because he was born early.  This is apparently very common with babies born prior to 38 weeks.  He continues to be yellow, the doctor says, because of something in my breastmilk that makes him that way.  It's not harmful, but he'll continue to have a little bilirubin in his system for a few months.  And maybe even longer, because he comes from a long line of yellow people.  His Mama and Grandpa both have a genetic disorder that make them a little yellow too.  Time will tell.  The acid reflux has been an adventure in spit up and expensive prescriptions.  We were quick to diagnose him at home, remembering his big brother's symptoms of retching, arching his back, and screaming in pain after burps.  So two weeks after birth, we were sitting in the doctor's office, begging for a script.  And again a week later to ask for the good stuff.  We seem to have taken the edge off, as evidenced by longer sleeping patterns and less screaming, but the spit up is still plentiful and staining good shirts by the hour.

Reflux hurts:

The sleepless nights come and go.  A good night of sleep with a breastfed newborn means you'll be up about every 2 hours to nurse, burp, change and repeat.  Pretty easy when your baby agrees with the schedule.  Not so much when your newborn thinks it's party time after every meal.  And by "party time" I mean "scream at the top of your lungs" time.  So we'll have nights like that, followed by nights where he'll give us a break.  We don't consider what we do to be sleeping in the early stages anyway.  We'd like to think of our sleep patterns as "a series of short naps" for weeks on end.  The first month is the hardest.  After that, it's not necessarily that you're getting more sleep, you're just getting used to the deprivation.  Oh, and that cute advice that EVERY seasoned mother likes to share "sleep when the baby sleeps"?  All moms know what I'm talking about.  Not only is it crap, but it doesn't apply to moms with a toddler in the house too.  So I'm embracing the dark circles under my eyes and constant confusion because I don't have a choice.  All for a good cause though.

Beckett is adorable.  His newborn hair is starting to thin out (on his head AND his back) and his eyes are starting to change colors.  To what, I don't know yet, but he's slowly changing from newborn scrunchy-face Beckett to baby boy Beckett.  I feel like I blinked and he changed.  An ongoing curse of motherhood - your babies grow up faster than you are comfortable with.  But he is just as scrumpy as could be.  His development over the last 5 weeks has been amazing.  He's started making eye contact, reaching for things, noticing things in his environment and even smiling intentionally!  He also coos (when he's not screaming) which is super cute.  He seems to be a mama's boy and will almost always soothe as soon as he's in my arms, so we're like peas and carrots for 23 hours every day.  We've been co-sleeping for everyone's sanity, mostly because the only place he'll actually sleep is with his cheek pressed up against my skin, but I'm secretly loving every minute of it.  Snuggling with my tiniest one is a pretty special thing. 

"I wish you could put your ear up to my heart and hear how much I love you"

He hasn't really noticed Ben, unless he's staring him in the face, presenting the threat of either dumping him onto the floor or petting him nicely.  I can almost see him tense up with anticipation for what's next when Ben is close to him.  He's learned from past experiences (unfortunately) that Ben is capable of being sweet, and not so sweet as he gets used to "The Interloper".  This is getting better every day though.  And speaking of Ben, Beckett is like a younger, darker version of his big brother.  Check out the resemblance:

Ben at 1 month:

Beckett at 1 month:

Bros pose on a warm September day:

In addition to immediate family snuggles, Beckett has enjoyed tons of grandma, grandpa and auntie love in his 5 weeks here.  We've had a few Turner visits, both here and in the mountains, where Beckett has loved on his Mimi and Poo, his Aunt Nette and Uncle Johnny, and his Auntie Lala and Madi.  And they are all very serious about Beckett time.  They will arm wrestle over who is next.  This kid is loved.  And when he's returned to his mama, his hair smells like a mix of everyone's perfumes.  Something to remember them by.  Beckett's Grammie, Grandpa and Aunt Megan have also made regular visits for snuggle time.  Gram has practically made it a daily routine to cuddle with Beckett in the rocking chair, mostly because he's awesome, but a little bit because Mama needs a break sometimes.  It's been very nice.

So the party of 4 has survived the first month!  Experience tells us that it only gets easier from here.  The bittersweet journey of simultaneously wishing for new milestones (like the sleep through the night one!) and wishing the clock would slow down begins.  We're savoring all the sweet baby moments with our little man because we know how fast they go. 



Adventures of a Big Brother

Dear Ben,

Congratulations, Boo Bear - you are officially a BIG brother!  The 40 (37) week countdown is over, and now a new adventure starts: brotherhood.  You have been such a trooper all year long, putting up with a sick Mommy, a cranky Mommy, and a very big version of Mommy throughout the months.  You've never protested when Cheerios were presented as breakfast 13 days in a row, or dinner consisted of cheese and crackers because Mommy couldn't pull it together enough to prepare something appropriate.  You've played quietly and independently when Mommy was too big to get on the floor with you, and slept in most mornings as if you knew you were giving a precious gift.  I am so thankful for these things, baby - thank you for being patient with me.

Throughout the months, you've come to understand what was happening.  At first, though understandably, you had no idea what was happening.  We told you about your little brother before my belly told the world.  As your brother grew, you became curious.  We named Beckett around the time that my pants changed to the kind with elastic waistbands, so you've been familiar with his name for awhile.  We referred to the belly as "baby" and "brother" and it seemed that sometime in the 8th month, the idea clicked for you.  You hugged my belly every morning, and kissed it goodnight before bed.  When I asked you "Where's Beckett?", you'd lift your shirt and pat your own belly first before patting mine gently and sweetly.  You loved him before you even met him.

Our last day together as a twosome - me and you - was uneventful but wonderful.  I wasn't feeling particularly hot, so I layed in bed most of the day.  Neither of us knew it would be our last day, just me and you, but we spent it cuddling in bed and taking it easy.  You took a 4 hour nap that day.  In fact, I had to wake you up to get you ready for Grandpa before I headed to the hospital.  Once I learned that Beckett would be coming, you came to visit me in the hospital.  You saw me laying in my hospital bed, hooked up to monitors and getting prepped for surgery and smirked at me, almost knowingly.  You even laughed a few times when you approached my bed.  I swear you knew what was happening. 

You've been such a good big brother since you and Beckett officially met on Saturday.  You came into the hospital room with your Aunt Madi and locked eyes on him, and then proceeded to ignore him for the rest of the visit.  We considered this a success, because you pretty much acted like nothing was different.  The next day, you even crawled up next to him and gave him a hug.  You've been really good since we've all been home together, and while it's obvious you know that something is permanently different, you've transitioned really, really well.  We're so proud of you.

You don't know it yet, but your brother is the most awesome gift we could have ever given you.  You and he are 22 months apart.  You're going to share your room, your toys and your friends with him, and both of you will have a best friend for life.  It doesn't seem like it right now, I know, but these are all good things. 

Thank you so much for being so BIG.  You are going to be the best big brother ever.  My heart has grown big enough to fit both of you in it neatly, but always know that you are extra special because you are my first born. And ultimately the reason that the event of welcoming your little brother into the world has been so easy.  I love you, Boo.

Love, Mama

A September Star is born

Beckett James Turner

September 17th, 2010 - 10:34 pm

8 lb, 4 oz 20.5 inches



So our Octobaby, set for a September 28th delivery date, had other ideas.  We welcomed Beckett on a Friday night and have been drunk in love ever since.

On Thursday, the 16th, I started having contractions.  They weren't anything different from the contractions I've had recently, but they didn't really quit either.  I mentioned to Jacob and my mom that it would be totally cool if my water broke and this was it.  This came after a set of dismal lab results that showed my platelets at a level that was bordering on too dangerous for an awake delivery.  Again.  I was hoping for a different outcome, so labor, while a long shot, seemed to be my only shot at having the delivery I wanted.  Jacob and my mom both laughed at me and reminded me that I had pretty much no chance of my water breaking.  Eventually, my contractions slowed down and I went to bed.  Interesting though, was the fact that I felt like I was wetting myself all night.  TMI, I know, but I felt pitiful and embarrassed that at this stage in pregnancy, I had lost control of my bladder function too.

So the next day, I was waiting for the doctor to call with the results of some repeat labs I had done earlier in the week.  In addition to the low platelets, it appeared that I was developing preeclampsia, so the doctor wanted to monitor some additional levels.  At 3:30 that afternoon, I received a call from the doctor's office confirming that my levels were preeclamptic, but not quite bad enough for an immediate delivery, so they wanted me to wait until Monday for another set of labs.  Being a complete hormonal control freak, I flipped.  I told the nurse that this wasn't going to work for me, and I wanted the labs repeated tonight.  She got nervous, told me she would consult with my doctor, and get back to me.  After a few minutes, she called back and said the doctor wanted me to go to the hospital for blood work.  So I did.  My dad came over to watch Ben, I called Jacob, and stopped at my friend, Monique's sub shop for dinner and to tell her I was on my way to the hospital.  On the off chance that I might deliver, she followed me there.

At the hospital, they ran several tests.  I got hooked up to machines, gave them some bodily fluids for testing, and hung out in a triage room.  Monique and I chatted about everything but the situation at hand, and fully expected to go home later in the evening.  A nurse came in and asked lots of questions, gave me a physical exam, and before walking out, asked "Have you been leaking any fluid?"  I told her I had, but was pretty sure it was just incontinence.  She wanted to check to be sure, so she ran another test. 

A few minutes later, the nurse got preliminary lab results back, which showed that my platelets had increased.  Which is unheard of, but I accepted the news happily.  Just as she was getting ready to send us home, the results from the fluid test came back.  My water had broken.  And had likely broken the night before and was slowly leaking for 24 hours.  The on-call doctor was on her way in, and I was going to deliver within the hour.  Monique sat back down, Jacob, who had arrived earlier with Ben, was going to bring him back to my dad, and the family was going to be called.  Beckett was coming!

I was prepped for surgery, given a spinal for pain relief, and given a neat hair net for the operating room.  Jacob returned and got his little surgery outfit.  The family - Monique and my mom, were sent to the OR observation room to be ready to meet Beckett as soon as he arrived and we were on our way.  At 10:15ish, I entered the OR.  At 10:27, they began the surgery.  And at 10:34, I heard the sweet sound of a baby boy announcing his arrival.  He cried as soon as his head popped out, but before his body was, and continued all the way down the hall while he was cleaned up.  I met back up with him after I was sewn up and wheeled to recovery, and we've been together ever since.

Beckett has been wonderful.  He is a lot like his BIG brother, Benjamin in that he's a very sweet natured, easy going baby.  He sleeps when he's supposed to, eats on command, and smiles unintentionally at all the right times.  He has a head full of black hair.  It matches the black hair all over his back, shoulders, elbows and earlobes, in true LaPlaca fashion.  He actually looks quite ethnic, so we call him our little mexican, and refer to him as "Pedro".  His skin and eyes are dark and his nails are very long.  All the doctors have commented that he may even have been further along than our dates suggest.  His birth certificate has 38 weeks listed as his gestational age at delivery when he was only 37.  Things have been much easier this time around, because Mama and Dad are old professionals and feel a lot less anxiety about parenthood.  Healing from surgery this time around has also been easier.  I attribute most of this to being awake for this c-section, but several people have commented that I have bounced back sooner than most post c-section mamas do, general anesthesia or not.  Ben is slowly getting used to his new role as big brother.  He hasn't exactly embraced the new bundle, but hasn't acted inappropriately either.  He's even given Little B a hug or two since he's been out of the womb. 

So The Turners are now a party of four.  Beckett James is three weeks early like his brother, but here in his own timing, and healthy as could be.  And we're completely in love.