Healthy Bean

March 22nd: 11 weeks, 6 days gestation:

Little Bean is taking over the womb!  We didn't get an exact measurement this time, but everything appears to be developing on schedule.  The best news of the day is that the empty sac is getting smaller as Baby's sac gets larger.  It's beginning to compress, which is exactly what we were hoping for!  The ultrasound pictures only show Little Bean, wiggling around and being healthy.  Our doctor is so pleased with the progress that we won't return for another month, and by then we'll be able to positively identify whether this one is pink or blue!  And if everything looks good then, we'll go back to being monitored on a regular schedule, instead of every two weeks!

Being nearly 12 weeks pregnant is fantastic.  We are almost out of the 1st trimester and on our way to the "honeymoon" trimester.  That was the best part of my pregnancy with Ben.  No sickness, little fatigue, looking round enough to be pregnant, but not freak-show huge, and developing that fabulous pregnancy glow everyone talks about.  I am still experiencing waves of nausea, extreme fatigue, and the pregnancy glow is still greasy acne as my body tries to regulate all the excess hormones.  But soon all that will change.  My mindset at this stage of pregnancy changes as anxiety lessens and excitement sets in.  I am still miraculously fitting into my pre-pregnancy jeans and discovered happily (and by accident) last week that they aren't even my fat jeans collection!  I could have sworn I had dug up the fat pants, but I must have dreamed it.  Anyway, I know my days in them are numbered.  And like last time, I am going to fight wearing my maternity clothes as long as possible.  As comfortable as they are, they are the same amount of ugly.  Hard to feel cute with an elastic waistband up to your bra and a puffy, oversized shirt that makes you look like a heavyweight champion before you're weighing in as one.  But I did drag some of that stuff out and it's sitting in my dryer, waiting to be folded and mixed in with my other clothes in the closet.  You know, just in case my pants don't button tomorrow.

We're completely blocked on names right now, but it's still early.  Auntie M text messaged us from a Cracker Barrel somewhere in the midwest to inform that if the baby is a boy, he will be named Bernard, and if it's a girl, Bernice.  She feels strongly that this baby should be called "Bernie Turner" and thinks Bernie and Benny would be a great team.  We've lovingly started referring to our Little Bean as "Bernice" as a result.  Not because he/she is a girl necessarily, but because the name is hilarious.  I'm hoping that once we can determine which team we're on (pink or blue), we'll be able to generate names more efficiently. 

So things continue to look really good.  Still not much to talk about because it's so early, but things are progressing as perfectly as they can at this stage.  Our Little Bean is officially a fetus and the size of a plum.  We've got little fingers, toes, and even toenails and all the major organs are formed and beginning to function.  Next time we check, there will be a little more anatomy visible, and we'll be sure to keep everyone updated on that!

The Twinless Twin: An 11 Week Journey

Oops, we did it again!: January 24th, 2010

Well, not exactly oops.  As evidenced by another BBT chart, targeting the moment this pregnancy began:

The month started out rocky, as I was fighting yet another illness and on too many antibiotics, but as my temps evened out, evidence supported that we were successful again!  Unlike my pregnancy with Ben, I had a sneaking suspicion that we'd conceived way before tests would indicate a positive.  I had strange symptoms including ridiculous mood swings and intense cravings for sweets.  The night before I tested, I got a charley horse in my calf while stretching and have only experienced such horror during 3rd trimester of pregnancy.  Even though I was still days away from being able to test accurately, I just had an inkling... and an unused test in my cabinet.  My compulsion to pee on a stick got the best of me and the rest is history!

The interesting part of the story is how dark the test's positive line was just days after ovulation.  We joked that the only logical reason for this was because it was twins.  Not so funny two weeks later when the scan showed two sacs on the screen!  Only another countdown was set to begin.  The week long countdown to the next ultrasound because neither sac revealed a baby inside.  At 6 weeks gestation, you would expect to see a little something in there, but we saw nothing.  So we waited.  And stressed.  And considered the possibilities.  Twins?  One baby?  No babies?  It was brutal.  Also brutal was the morning sickness and fatigue that had set in.  My body was playing a cruel joke on me by acting ridiculously pregnant, but we had no confirmation that it was viable.  Until the next ultrasound.

7 weeks:

The first shot is a closeup of our little bean and its yolk sac, heart beating away and looking healthy as ever.  The next shot reveals an empty sac to the left, where a baby was supposed to grow, but never did.  The doctor told us that we had implanted twins, but only one was developing.  She ordered us to come back the following week to look again, to see if perhaps the baby was just too small and we'd missed it this time around.  We were elated that there were signs of life inside, but still nervous about what to expect with the second sac.  We'd confirmed that there is at least one baby to be excited about, and breathed a tiny sigh of relief.

8 weeks:

A terrible photo, but more confirmation that our little survivor continued to grow and get stronger, while the other remained empty.  The first two shots show the sacs side by side, with signs of life in the one on the right.  The bottom shot shows Little Bean all comfy, looking more like a chicken nugget than a baby, but heart beating as healthy as ever.  At this point, the doctor suggested the diagnosis "vanishing twin", which is quite common in early pregnancy, and nothing to be too concerned about.  She ordered us back in two more weeks to monitor the growth of Little Bean, and the disappearance of the baby that never was.

10 weeks:

Hi family!  This is our Little Bean, measuring 10 weeks, 6 days, hanging out sort of sideways with a waving hand and little feet pointing down.  Finally taking the shape of a human, our little baby is growing according to schedule and was wiggling around and bouncing off of walls in true Turner Fetus fashion.  Everything looked great on that side, but the other side revealed that same empty sac, growing along side our baby's, with a full blood supply and placenta to boot:

Medical marvels, yet again!  The doctor told me to take it easy and to come back every two weeks to monitor through ultrasound.  The empty sac poses somewhat of a threat because it is not normal for it to continue to develop if nothing is inside.  With a vanishing twin, the empty sac reabsorbs as if it were never there, and the pregnancy continues with no extra risk.  Our situation is slightly different but the good news is, our little baby is completely unaffected right now, and is happy as could be.  And as happy as the baby is, I am equally as sick.  Luckily, this is a good sign of progression.  At least that is what I tell myself when I feel like I'm on a rowboat in the middle of the Atlantic during a hurricane.  I have also been very, very tired week after week, and really look forward to the end of the first trimester, when they say these symptoms clear up and it gets easier.  I do not have memories of feeling either nausea or fatigue with Ben to the degree that I am experiencing them.  I may have been too excited to care, or have already forgotten the details as second time mamas tend to do.  Ben has been a perfect angel through the experience though, and has gone out of his way to be a nice boy and take extra long naps when I need him to.  He couldn't be making this any easier on me if he tried.

I am officially 11 weeks along tomorrow.  Our estimated due date is October 5th, which puts our kids about 23 months apart.  So far, I've only gained a couple pounds and am still rocking my pre-pregnancy jeans, although that is getting harder and harder every day.  I will likely have to dust off the Bella Bands in the next couple of weeks in order to squeeze some more time out of them, but this is OK.  The longer I can put off huge maternity jeans with elastic waistbands, the better - they are NOT fashion statements by any means.  Although neither is walking around with unbuttoned pants.  In any event, we are so excited to be expecting again, and to be in the midst of another 40 week countdown!  So far, this pregnancy has proven to be quite interesting and fit for a medical journal, but we don't mind, as long as our Little Bean stays healthy and happy in there. 

Benny in Twenty-Tenny!

February: Playing around in my room:

We have lots of catching up to do!  We're in a whole new year with Benny and haven't even talked about November yet!  For the record, it was a rather uneventful month, if you take perpetual sickness out of the equation.  When Ben started school in September, he started catching little bugs and bringing them home for all of us to experience.  Most of them were little 24 hour bugs that would be more of an annoyance than anything, but we continued to function.  Until fall.  Ben's classmates were so kind that they shared the beloved H1N1 flu with he and I, so we were fairly pitiful for 8 days.  He and I barely got out of bed in the mornings, ran fevers for days on end, and were generally miserable sights to be seen.  Two weeks later, someone at school shared the lovely, generic stomach virus with us.  Concidentially the same week that our septic tank broke down and we had no use of our washing machine.  I've never hand washed so many clothes and linens in my life!  It was an exciting time in the Turner household. 

However, the light at the end of the sickness tunnel showed long enough for Benny, Gram and Mommy to squeeze in an adventure.  The three of us willingly got into Gram's van and drove to Minneapolis, Minnesota for a quick visit with Auntie M.  To back up some, Auntie M moved to North Dakota in search of employment the month before.  She had been working it up there long enough to feel homesick and want her dog back, so we saved the day and brought a little bit of home... and her dog, to her.  We decided on meeting in Minneapolis because let's face it, North Dakota isn't a tourist attraction, and it was several hours further in the car.  Out of all of us, Ben was the most mature traveler.  He barely made a peep in his 45 hour round trip across the Mississippi and back, and charmed every mid-westerner he met.  To pass the time that Saturday, we ventured over to the Mall of America in Minneapolis for a day of shopping and fun, and Ben rode quietly in his baby carrier the whole time.  He digs Minneapolis. 

November: Driving somewhere in Wisconsin:

Proof we were all there:

Thanksgiving and Christmas came and went, as did the various sicknesses Ben caught at school.  We celebrated Thanksgiving at Grammie and Grandpa's house and watched in shock and awe as Ben ate more food than anyone else did.  We determined that he is the only Turner that eats cranberry and actually likes it.  He is also a fan of helping himself to the cheese and shrimp trays and eating with manners.  Christmas was also at Grammie and Grandpas.  And Turner Place.  And the mountain house.  It was a three day celebration of gifts Ben refused to open, bows to unravel and throw, and more food to eat.  He did all three really, really well.  All while battling another bug with a low grade fever and runny nose to boot.  What a multitasker!  The combination of being sick, enduring the holiday season, and doing it all with a smile caused The Turners as a whole to retreat back home and do what they love best - sleep and enjoy the quiet.

Christmas: Pretending to open presents:

Christmas: Jack in the Box with Poo:

So two thousand and ten, or twenty-ten (depending on who you ask, and whether or not you want to be correct) arrived with a bang, as new years tend to do.  The Turners actually saw the ball drop this year, which was a stark contrast from last year where we were all asleep by 10:30, but awake again at 1:00 for a feeding.  Ben didn't make it for the long haul, but because we were bored and missing Ben, we woke him up at midnight to show him Dick Clark's celebration on TV and give him a taste of champagne.  He was unimpressed and back asleep in 5 minutes.  Go figure.  But we marked a moment and took funny pictures.

Happy New Year, Ben!

January offered the promise of no viruses, germs or sickness and helped us regain our strength and recharge from the holidays.  A truly uneventful month, as we mostly did our routines of school and work when Mother Nature allowed, and relaxed.  To back up again, Mother Nature has had quite the sense of humor this winter.  She thought it would be super funny to dump a bunch of snow in places that don't normally get snow, for amusement and laughs.  We got a big snowfall on December 18th that measured a cool 8 inches in our driveway, and about 17 just north of Turner Place, in Asheville.  To clarify to our midwestern friends, 8 inches is unmanageable in the south.  We do not know how to navigate 2 inches of snow.  8 is unreasonable.  To make it extremely hilarious, 8 inches of snowfall happened almost every Friday.  To present time, in fact.  We have had a white blanket of snow in our yard for two months and counting.  This means that school and work have been a treat when they happen, because they are usually cancelled.  It has resulted in a lot of playing and being creative indoors.  Ben has watched a lot of one DVD in particular during this time - Yo Gabba Gabba: Family.  He is mesmerized by it.  Yo Gabba Gabba is a group of 5 ridiculous monster-type characters that engage in events like Dancey Dance time, and The Super Music Friends Show.  They are apparently the toys of a tall, skinny dude in an orange jumpsuit and fuzzy hat named DJ Lance Rock.  He takes them out of a box shaped like a boombox and brings them to life by exclaiming "Yo Gabba Gabba".  As a fun fact, this show was actually created by a member of a ridiculous 90's ska band that my friends and I liked because they dressed up like bats and danced around the stage.  Their children's show is not much unlike that.  Jacob and I feel hypnotized after watching bits and pieces and wonder what it is doing to our child, but are equally pleased that it can capture his attention long enough to make dinner and clean the litter box.  Ben's favorite character from Yo Gabba Gabba is a big pink tulip shaped monster with a daisy on her head named Foofa.  Foofa talks in a high-pitched voice and offers encouragement to the other monsters and general observations about how beautiful things are.  He has his own Foofa doll that talks to him and tells him how amazing he is.  He carries her all around the house, slow dances with her, and gives her kisses when no one is looking.  If you notice he is doing any of  these things and point it out to him, he hurls Foofa across the room and yells, like he is embarrassed.  The second you turn your head, however, he will retrieve Foofa, hug her, and apologize secretly.  I can't wait to present this information to his future girlfriends and football teammates.

Christmas: Oh look, a white Christmas:

December: Still having a sense of humor about it:

Me and Mom at the Grove Park Inn - Enjoying the snowy view:

January: Ben and Foofa - A love affair only understood by them:

The end of January brought a very exciting development in Ben's life: walking by himself!  We were secretly wondering if he would ever walk because he was pushing 15 months and made no attempts whatsoever.  I was already contemplating adaptive equipment and years of physical therapy for the one child who didn't walk, not because he couldn't, but because he refused to.  But as Ben likes to do, he surprised us one day with a quick walk from Daddy to Mommy.  A few hours later, from Daddy to the sofa.  A day after that, from the sofa to the fireplace.  And within a week, he wasn't crawling anymore.  His first steps happened on January 31st and therefore at 14 months, so when I presented the idea to his pediatrician that he was technically 14 months at the time, he accepted it.  So it finally happened.  And we are not as regretful about it as many people suggested we would be.  We heard several comments to the tune of "the day he walks will be the best day and the worst day of your life".  So far, it's been like him crawling, only taller.  He is still very adventurous about exploring his environment, but doesn't have the destructor gene.  He mostly toddles around the house like a Tryannosaurus Rex (little arms curled up at his chest), looking at stuff and babbling.

February: Showing off my new skills:

February has been an extention of January, so nothing terribly exciting to note.  Ben continues to toddle and explore, talk as if he has a perpetual audience and important messages to convey and is still obsessed with Foofa and Yo Gabba Gabba.  In the last few months, he's gotten very interactive and has finally picked up on things we've been pushing on him for months.  He can now wave "bye bye" when he feels like it, and does it to the cat when his claws are out or to a meal he doesn't like.  His "hello" wave looks like Hitler's pose, or the Indian statue in front of the Cadillac dealership in Asheville.  He does this one when he is doing something he isn't supposed to and we ask him to stop, as if to politely acknowledge our attention, but disagree with our sentiment.  Or when he's actually saying hello.  He gives hugs and kisses on command in a modified Benny sort of way (hugs are his head laying on your shoulder and kisses are open mouth slobbers against your cheek).  He knows his toys and will grab the one you are talking about, again, if he feels like it, and is following general commands if the spirit moves him.  He's still babbling lots using variations of the word, "Dad".  Dad has definitely been assigned to Jacob as he exclaims "DaDD-ie" when he comes home from work, but other things can also be Dad, Dadda, DaDD-ie, etc.  He knows I'm Mom and laughs about it when I remind him (trying to get him to say it), but will only occassionally call me "Mumm".  Concidentially, Mumm is also reserved for something he renders delicious.  His best friend is a pink stuffed monster and his cat, Toby, who is velcroed to his side during waking hours.  He is doing great in school and appears to be one of the more laid back kids in class right now.  Sometimes I'll arrive early for pick up and watch him interact through the classroom windows and he's always smiling and playing quietly, or interacting gently.  We've been disease free for nearly two months now and enjoying life without snot and throw up and it's been fabulous.  We're going for a longer streak than two months, and with spring on its way, we may very well get it!

So to revisit third grade paragraph structure: In conclusion, that wraps up the last 4 months in a nutshell.  Ben is awesome, hilarious, and changing daily.  He is officially a toddler and no longer a baby and this is sad and wonderful news all at the same time.  Excited for his next milestones, but completely enjoying this stage as well!

1 Benny Boo Bear Year

Ben and Mom and a cornfield: September 27th, 2009

The fall has been all about birthdays.  We've celebrated several, including 3 firsts, and have been on the go from here to there to spend time with our loved ones putting another year behind them and looking forward to many, many more.  The first birthday party was Levi's, which was at the Asheville Pizza Company.  Ben played arcade games, hung out with Mommy's old friends, and watched Levi smear orange icing all over his face, hair, chest and so on.  Ben looked on in horror while Levi was in heaven.  The next party was in Atlanta the day before this picture was taken and was Jack Oliver's party.  He was introduced to Yo Gabba Gabba and DJ Lance Rock and played with a billion toys and other kids while Jack enjoyed his celebration.  Ben looked on in horror again while Jack ate his entire smash cake in quite a different fashion from Levi, leaving hardly anything and not making too much of a mess.  The kid is my hero.  Ben loved spending time with his bros and getting a preview for what was to come later in the season.  Mom got more and more anxious with each party because she realized each one symbolized the birth of these children and Ben's day wasn't far behind.  The Turners traveled to the mountains in mid October for Aunt Nette's birthday party and spent a relaxing weekend in our favorite place, lounging around with relatives and exploring the mountain and it's beautiful fall foliage.  Aunt Nette was very happy to see Ben and the feeling was mutual, because he knows Aunt Nette loves him the best.

Over the course of September and October, Ben decided it would be a good time to ditch that baby creeping thing and get up on his knees for some good old fashioned crawling, and continues to do so with extreme speed and precision.  He crawls laps around and around the house, usually not disturbing a thing as he moves, but getting a great workout and keeping himself occupied in a Mom-Approved sort of way.  He tried so hard to pull up on furniture and would get halfway there before falling down on his butt and shaking it off.  He finally figured that move out this week and has been pulling up on any piece of furniture he can get his hands on, followed by a quick look behind him, smiling in anticipation of his cheerleaders (AKA: Mom and Dad) yelling "Biggest One!" and clapping.  Benny has an electric smile that lights up any room, is highly contagious and flashes it almost constantly.  It is impossible to be sad or angry as long as he's near - it's a proven fact.  Ben is also expanding his vocabulary and is now exclaiming "DaDDDD-ay" and "a-BoBB" along with his already acquired mamas and babas and such.  Everyone and everything is "a-BoBB" and "DaDDDD-ay" is reserved for the father formerly known as Bob.  I'm not sure when he'll start saying actual words but I'm thinking it won't be long now.  In fact, today, he said over and over again with authority "E-gee-ahh-di" and my mom had to double check Google to make sure he didn't pick up some Italian somewhere when we weren't looking.  He was serious every time he said it, furrowing his brow and yelling it like a command.  Big Ben is nearly 22 pounds, about 30 inches, and full of new tricks and smiles.

October brought reds, yellows, golds and browns to the mountain landscape and a bit of cool air to break up mild and balmy days.  It also brought plans for Ben's birthday party, which happened on Halloween, just as Mommy predicted the year before.  Ben's birthday party brought a house full of friends and family who love Benny and wanted to share his special day with him. Everyone had a blast, packed in like sardines, watching kids in costumes tear the house apart and prove to The Turners that our house isn't baby-proofed after all.  This point was driven home when Jack's mom, Danielle brought me a cup of picture hangers and nails from the top of a bookcase while Jack was quickly darting to the kitchen to get in a cabinet and dump Comet cleaner all over the floor.  This is definitely new territory, as Ben minds his own business as he runs laps around the house, occasionally unplugging something before moving on.  So in his house were a bunch of hovering parents, a mischievous Batman, a waddling Hotdog, a very upset Pumpkin (Benny) and an adorable Ladybug mixed in with others watching the madness ensue.  Ben's birthday cake moment was met with an unanticipated scream when he realized he couldn't shake the icing off of his hands.  Instead of diving into the cake, Ben screamed and threw a fit until his hands were clean.  He refused to give the cake a second chance and even had the same reaction the next day when it was presented again.  Once Ben loosened up, he had an awesome time and the day was a blur as The Turners made their way through the party, chatting and thanking everyone for coming and celebrating Ben's day.

The next day, Ben and the complete Turner package set out for the apple orchard to have a day of fun but were met with overcast skies, a fairly empty parking lot, and quiet where bustling crowds, music, rides and fun were the week prior.  Harvest season is winding down and Hendersonville's apple orchards are selling their last pecks and bushels before closing for the year.  The Turners roamed the property anyway and took advantage of one last photo opportunity before parting ways till next time.  Mom, Dad and Ben headed down the road for a birthday party with Grammie and Grandpa and opened presents, ate lunch, and took a very long, and well deserved nap.  Ben's actual birthday, November 1st has been quiet, peaceful and full of reflection over the last 365 days.  It's been bittersweet for Mom, who has chased down every moment since Ben's birth and tried to make it last forever.  The days are so short and are coming at us at warp speed and I wish we could just call a time-out sometimes to savor little moments like a mid-afternoon bottle in our arms, a goofy giggle session before bed, or a sweet cuddle in the early morning hours before he's fully awake and alert.  I remember nursing him in a football hold, clutching him with one arm and resting him on my chest for a late morning nap and I feel like it was yesterday, literally, that this was our routine.  Hard to believe that my little 8 pound baby is now speaking Italian, eating Spaghetti-O's and calling me Bob.  I feel like I will be chasing down these little memories for the rest of my life, recalling every insignificant detail and longing for days that are behind us while looking forward to the next milestone.  The only way to describe it is to call it bittersweet, and suddenly the same birthdays that I was so excited about as a child hold a new meaning from a mother's perspective.  An extremely powerful revelation indeed.  So one year later, I am sitting at home, listening to the cold wind whip around the trees outside and reflecting on an amazing year with my Boo Bear, and recalling that on this night last year I was cuddling my newborn son and imagining what life would be like.  So far, it's been amazing.  Love you Benjamin - Happy 1st Birthday!  Love, Mama