Natural Parenting Benny & Bex Style

Welcome to the March Carnival of Natural Parenting: Natural Parenting Top 10 Lists
This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared Top 10 lists on a wide variety of aspects of attachment parenting and natural living. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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I am a natural parent.  I dig attachment theory.  I realize it's not a popular choice.  The term, in and of itself is so arrogant.  Natural Parenting?  Isn't all parenting "natural"?  Yeah, pretty much.  It's not better than any other style of parenting, it's just what works for us.  I don't dish out a lot of criticism when it comes to parenting styles.  Becoming a parent has helped me understand that everyone does their own thing, for one reason or another, but mostly because it works and that's okay.  I don't accept all Natural Parenting practices, however.  I fully vaccinate my children.  I let them watch more than the recommended amount of TV.  I don't subscribe to homeschooling.  And Ben knows exactly where we are when I pull through a McDonald's drive-thru.  But most of the practices make sense to us, so I define myself as such.

(1) I breastfeed.  Not for any noble reason, I'm not trying to make a statement.  The bond is amazing, and knowing that I put every fold on Beckett's chunky baby legs is definitely a bonus.  But it just seems easier.  This kid is still awake and ready to party every 2 to 3 hours, every night.  Getting out of my cozy bed to fix bottle after bottle just seems like unnecessary work. 

(2) Schedules don't work for us.  This has become increasingly apparent as my baby continues to resist sleeping through the night.  I've read all the books about creating predictability in an infant's schedule to get a "quiet-alert" baby who never cries and always smiles.  Beckett thinks this is garbage.  I do too.  After trying them (and failing miserably), I've decided we are too lazy for schedules.  We do better when I trust my mama intuition.  Being close to my kids all day long, I can tell when they are getting tired before they can.  And anyway, neither of them can tell time, so why bother with the clock?

(3) My kids are a fashion accessory.  Yeah, from time to time, I even wear my 28 month old.  Babywearing gives my kids the illusion that I am constantly hugging them, but gives me the flexibility to do things like laundry and errand running.  I gain an extra set of hands and they gain the security of being close to Mama.  And when we go places where strollers are inconvenient, Jacob can wear one, I can wear the other, and everyone is happy.  Easy-peasy.

(4) My baby has a fluffy bum.  I sort of cheat on this one, because my toddler wears disposable diapers.  I get a free pass however, because he has diagnosed sensory issues and hates the idea of cloth making his butt look fat in jeans.  Believe me, we've tried.  But I choose cloth for Beckett because it is easier for Team Turner.  No late night runs to the grocery store to pay double for a pack of diapers when you realize you just put the last one on your baby's bottom.  No diaper rashes.  And the biggest bonus - no leaks!  Well, assuming the diaper was put on correctly and not left on for hours.  I get the most criticism for this choice.  Everyone's first question: "What do you do with the poop?!"  You rinse it off, people, it's not a big deal.  The environmental-friendliness is another added perk.  Some will argue that the extra water consumption offsets this bonus.  Tell that to my February water bill - it's the cheapest it's been in over a year.

(5) We let our kids learn through experience.  I like to call it laissez-faire parenting.  I try not to intervene when they are exploring something new, or doing something that will probably result in a spill, a bump or a bruise.  This could also be a direct result of my laziness, but I'd like to think it's helping them understand cause and effect.  And of course, we do this one within reason.  We don't have bleach-drinking experiments to see what would happen.  But sometimes Ben needs to take a tumble off the coffee table to learn why we don't get up there routinely.

(6)  On a related note, we parent with positivity.  I hate the word "no".  Coincidentally, Ben hates it too, so we reserve it for dangerous, or really, really annoying behaviors.  This comes from the B.F. Skinner in me.  In college, I trained rats to do all kinds of unbelievable things with positive reinforcement.  Punishment didn't produce very strong desired behavior patterns and in fact, made my rats sort of aggressive.  Because I, like Skinner, believe that kids and fancy rats aren't all that different, I reject the idea of time out and taking dessert away.  Ben gets ridiculous amounts of praise for being awesome, and gets completely ignored for bad behavior.  It works for us, and it keeps my blood pressure at a manageable level.

(7) I haven't slept alone in over five months.  We have a crib.  In fact, we have two.  And Beckett will sleep in either one if I make him.  But since his first night home, he's been my official cuddle buddy.  When Ben was small, he also shared the bed.  Some of my favorite memories of his infancy were our late afternoon naps after I picked him up from Grammie's.  He insisted on lying behind me, facing my back, and played with my hair gently until we both fell asleep.  And go figure, the kid sleeps independently and through the night, ever since he moved into his own room.  I get the best of both worlds - bonding with my babies and eventually sending them off to their own space for uninterrupted sleep.  Added bonus: not getting out of bed to fetch Beckett for a nursing session.

(8) I didn't do this with Ben, but I intend on practicing "baby led weaning" with Beckett.  It's a different concept of helping kids explore solid food by eating whole foods in their natural form, not pureed.  Is there a lazy theme developing?  This one is quite controversial but makes perfect sense to me.  Our hunter-gatherer ancestors didn't have Cuisinarts or Gerber to rely on.  And somehow we persisted as a species.  After trying rice and oatmeal and failing miserably, we decided to ditch cereal altogether and introduce fruits and veggies when Beckett is ready. 

(9) Ben eats dirty Cheerios off the floor.  He has access to clean ones too, but I don't freak out if he eats one he found under the couch, plays in a muddy puddle, or puts another kid's toy in his mouth.  When Beckett's binkie "hits the deck", I inspect it for hair and dirt, wipe it off on my jeans, and pop it back in his mouth.  I know, totally disgusting, but I'm building antibodies.  I've been a disgusting parent since the beginning, but the only time my kids were ever sick was when day care was involved.  Eating a dusty Cheerio every now and then hasn't harmed Ben in the least, and he seems to be healthier because I allow exposure to things that aren't always sanitized.

(10) My kids have a stay at home mom.  I am always available to them, which makes all of this possible.  I spend all day, every day with them and know their moves before they make them.  I don't let them dictate how things are done, but I use their strengths, preferences and abilities to build a successful day.  If someone needs me at 3 am, I pull it together to be there and be nurturing in the process.  And I believe they are better because of it.

I didn't get the option of a natural childbirth.  So maybe my choice to be a "natural parent" is a way to make up for that.  Or maybe it is pure laziness.  I don't push the NP agenda.  But it's what we do and it's what works for us, and that's okay.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon March 8 with all the carnival links.)

• Attachment Parenting in the NICU — Erica at ChildOrganics shares some strategies to help you parent naturally in some unnatural circumstances.
• 10 Reasons to Choose Baby Led Weaning — Luschka from Diary of a First Child shares ten reasons to choose Baby Led Weaning when it comes to solids.
• Choosing to Breastfeed — From selfishness to self-giving, CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy lists reasons why breast is best for her and her family.
• Ten Things I Wish I Knew About Before Little Man — In this reflective post, The ArstyMama discusses ten things she wishes she knew more about before the birth of her son, Little Man.
• 10 Things That Helped Me Become a Natural Mama — The Accidental Natural Mama counts down ten things that helped her find her moderately crunchy inner mama self.
• Top 10 Reasons to Breastfeed Your Toddler — Extended breast-feeder Kate Wicker of Momopoly makes her own top 10 list for why she loves nursing her 2-year-old.
• Top 10 Tips on Authentic Grandparenting — Mamapoekie of Authentic Parenting offers a list of tips to make the grandparent-parent-child relationship flow smoothly.
• Top Ten "Dad" Things — Liam at In The Now talks about his favourite ways to spend time with his children.
• Top 10 Natural Strategies for Conception (aka How to Get Pregnant!) — Despite facing plenty of health issues, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama found her way to two first-try pregnancies thanks to these natural strategies.
• Top Ten Reasons Why Home Birth Rocks — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud shares her passion for birthing at home - the natural place for natural birth.
• Top 10 reasons why cloth nappies are fun — Tat at Cloth Nappies Are Fun shows how using cloth nappies can brighten up your day.
• Top Ten Ways to Be Present With Family — Amy at Innate Wholeness shares how to make the most of parenting and family life through being present.
• Top 10 Things In My Arsenal of Kitchen Witchy Mama Tricks. — Joni Rae at Tales of A Kitchen Witch shares with us the simple things she would never want to be missing from her cupboards.
• Top 10 ways I'm not very good at natural parenting (and why I keep trying anyway) — Jenny at Babyfingers shares the ways she is imperfect as a natural parent, and why she embraces natural parenting anyway.
• Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent — So what makes us "natural parents," anyway? A lighthearted look at the Top 10 Ways to Know You Are a Natural Parent by the editors and readers of Natural Parents Network.
• The Top 10 Things Every Natural Household (with children) Should Have — Amanda at Let's Take the Metro shares a list of the most common natural products and remedies she uses for health and cleaning.
• Top 10 books for raising loving, spiritual children — In her 'food for the soul' post, Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares her favourite spiritual books. No matter what religion you practise, there's something for everyone!
• Top 10 Things No One Told Me About Natural Parenting — Adrienne at Mommying My Way explains that the best things about natural parenting are things she never expected.
• Top 10 Flower Essences for Families — Kim of Nature Baby Bloggings lists her pick of the top ten flower essence which can help ease families through the ups and downs of life.
• My Top Ten Parenting Tools — Amyables at Toddler In Tow names the top ten tools that have been helpful to her while learning to parent respectfully and successfully.
• Ten Ways Families Can Enjoy Nature (for free!) — Spring is nearly in the air, and Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction is dreaming of the fun and frugal ways that her family is going to get out and enjoy nature this summer.
• 10 Reasons We Unschool — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains why unschooling is the right choice for her family.
• Must Read: Natural Parenting Top Ten — Amy at Anktangle wants you to do a little reading! She shares her top ten favorite books to help parents prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting.
• Top 10 Breastfeeding Misconceptions — Sheila at A Gift Universe examines ten reasons women give for why they didn't breastfeed as long as they wanted, and shows how these obstacles can be overcome.
• Ten Reasons to Plan a Home Birth — Since a home birth can be an incredibly empowering experience, Leslie at Lights and Letters outlines ten reasons why you should plan to have your baby at home.
• Top Ten Books for Birth, Breastfeeding and Parenting — Megan at Just Me(gan) writes about the ten books that have helped her the most in her natural parenting journey.
• A Top Ten Letter To Me... — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes herself a letter of reflections and bits of wisdom she would have liked to know as a new mama.
• Top Ten Mama Necessities Money Can't Buy — Buying baby gear is fun, but Emily at Crunchy(ish) Mama knows real parenting must-haves can't be bought in stores (or even on Amazon).
• Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine talks about her Top 10 Books for a Natural Mum.
• Ten Great Spring Activities To Do With Preschoolers — Kellie at Our Mindful Life and her family have come up with a great list of activities to do together this spring.
• 10 Ways to Reuse Yogurt Containers — Acacia at Fingerpaint & Superheroes keeps the stacks of yogurt containers out of her recycling bin by reusing them in both practical and creative ways.
• Top Ten Ways To Have a Harmonious Home — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama shares her natural parenting-inspired methods for maintaining a harmonious daily life with her toddler.
• 10 Natural Baby Items I Love — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares product ideas to support your natural parenting.
• The Pandas' Top Five Crunch-osophies — Top five crunchy philosophies, as employed at the Panda Residence by Ana at Pandamoly.
• Top 10 Reasons to Leave Your Son Intact — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children has shared 10 reasons why you should leave your newborn son intact.
• Ten things everyone should know about unassisted homebirth — Olivia at Write About Birth shares practical tips for women considering an unassisted homebirth and debunks some common myths
• 10 Most Popular Ways To Treat Cloth Diaper Stains — Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey gives ten easy tips to make your diapers like new.
• 10 Lessons in 1 Year — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares 10 parenting lessons that she has learned throughout her first year of motherhood.
• Top 10 Ways to Get Breastfeeding Off To a Good Start — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares 10 effective ways to ensure breastfeeding gets off to a good start.
• Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out — If you are uncomfortable using time-outs in an attempt to control your child's behavior, try one of these gentler alternatives. Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares her Top 10 Ways to Avoid a Time-Out.
• My Top 10 Parenting Scriptures — Dulce de leche is learning to integrate faith and parenting. Whether it is breastfeeding, babywearing, comforting her children, or gentle discipline, she finds that the Bible has beautiful passages to encourage her on her journey.
• Natural Cleaning Ideas - Top 10 — Laura at Laura's Blog lists the ways she keeps her house clean and clear of chemicals.
• My Top Ten (plus two) Life Altering and Growth Inspiring Books — A top ten list of books from MJ at Wander Wonder Discover that changed her life as an individual, a parent, and an earth dweller.
• Top 10 Ways to Use Natural Parenting for Children with Special Needs — Danielle at Mommy Makes Cents feeds the needs of her family and special needs child through the use of Natural Parenting.
• Ten Fundamentals — Seonaid at The Practical Dilettante gets philosophical with a list of the fundamentals that drive her natural parenting.
• 10 reasons why I chose breast over bottles — Becky at Old New Legacy writes a quick list of why she chose breast over bottles.
• Top Ten Natural Tools for the Work of Play — Lori at Beneath the Rowan Tree offers insight into 10 natural toys that will span the early years (and save you money).
• 10 differences between pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US — Megan at Ichigo Means Strawberry gives her impressions about differences in pregnancy and parenting in Japan and the US.
• Natural Parenting Benny & Bex Style — Pecky at Benny and Bex explains why Natural Parenting principles work best for her boys.
• Top 10 Reasons to Co-Sleep — 10 practical, emotional, and completely selfish reasons to co-sleep and share a family bed from Lily, aka Witch Mom.
• My Top Ten New Mommy Moments — Melissa at The New Mommy Files recounts the ten most memorable moments of her daughter's first year.
• Top Ten Things Every Breastfeeding Mother Needs to Know — Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood believes knowledge is power and wants all moms to be well informed.
• Top 10 Nursing Positions / Situations — Momma Jorje uses her 5½ years of nursing experience to share her Top 10 Nursing Positions/Situations. She includes some adorable photos of her youngest daughter at the breast.
• Ten Top Ways to Connect Kids with Nature — Terri from Child at the Nature Isle offers 10 ways to immerse ourselves in the natural world and develop a love affair with the Earth.
• Top 10 Slacker Ways to Natural Parent — Guavalicious is happy to show you how to parent naturally the slacker way.
• Simply what it looks like — Andrea!!! from Ella-Bean & Co. offers a glimpse into natural parenting through the eyes of mama and babe.
• Top Ten Reasons Why Natural Parenting Dads Are So Attractive — Nada at miniMOMist sure digs her husband, but it's not just his good looks -- it's his parenting!
• 10 Family Systems and Routines That Work for Us — See what routines, organizational systems, and parenting approaches work for Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings to help avoid conflict and maintain sanity in a family with three young children.
• Top 10 reasons to choose midwifery care — Lauren at Hobo Mama lists the features that drew her to midwives' care for pregnancy and birth.
• 10 Ways to Cloth Diaper on a Budget — Michelle at The Parent Vortex shares her best thrifty cloth diapering tips.
• Ten Reasons it Felt Sew Good To Make My Own Play Food — Brittany at Mama's Felt Cafe lists her 10 (OK, 11) favorite reasons to grab a needle and start sewing your own felt play toys.
• Top10 Ways to Spark Interest, Learn, and Have Fun With Everyday Tasks! — Bethy at Bounce Me to the Moon gives you her top 10 ways of incorporating fun and lessons into everyday tasks and chores.
• Postpartum Gift Ideas — Alicia at I Found My Feet suggests a top 10 list of gifts for mother's after giving birth.
• My Top Ten Shows Worthy Of Screen Time — Tree at Mom Grooves shares her top ten list of shows that she believes are positive, educational, kind, joyful, and a nice way to share some downtime with your children.
• The Top 10 Ways to Succeed as an Working Attachment Parent — That Mama Gretchen shares tried and true ways to succeed with attachment parenting even when working away from home during the day.
• Top Ten Books for Natural Parenting — Pregnancy, herbs, cooking, and healthcare the ten books Asha at Meta Mom the most.
• Preparing for a Hospital VBAC: My Top 10 — Thomasin at Propson Palingenesis shares 10 ways she's preparing for her upcoming hospital VBAC.
• Top Ten New Mom Survival Tools — Wolfmother shares her most beloved motherhood survival tools at Fabulous Mama Chronicles.
• Top 10 Montessori Principles for Natural Learning — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now gives her top 10 list of Montessori principles parents can use to encourage their children s natural learning.
• Going Granola — Tashmica from The Mother Flippin' Blog describes the 10 ways that natural parenting sneaked up on her. She never expected to go all granola on the world.
• Step Away From the Amazon List — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine wishes she hadn't bought so much useless stuff.